Expert or Fan? Aggressive or Fan?

As I wake up the the morning after speaking with Morithei, my mind is still besieged with whirling thoughts. One of the things I can see myself as trying not to be an expert so early. My childhood is filled with the images of experts being the statues of the philosopher, or like Confucius…people who reach somewhere after a long journey/years of diligence. That is actually kinda foolish as I think about it now. Experts are either considered knowledgeable about the topics they talk about, after months of reading, researching it  or not.

Even though I spent that many years watching that anime, I have certain pride in it.. but even then I believe it is nothing to really talk about.  The scope of the world around me is limitless yes, but is it fun to be an expert in animes? I find experts to being obnoxious and self-centered. Certainly I don’t think that the experts would imagine themselves to being obnoxious, but it is after a long time of their studies and work. To hear that of other people judging other people, yes it would be an issue that I believe I don’t want to face.

I see the various publications that come with academic and anime. People trying to bring a serious note to this industry, and while I am pretty interested in it. Having purchased this, this and this in the past. I don’t usually practice what I preach. Still to read what I buy and try to walk the walk than talk the talk is a little hard to handle after the real life issues.There’s an issue in my field and others, known as information overload - to literally get overwhelmed with information – I get that a lot, and with all the headaches and migraines I have. I can’t help but try not to waste my time.

Even though it would go against my goal of eventually writing a book. I find that my life is always filled with moments of being certain or uncertain. The safe way is to go with the uncertain aspect. That way it doesn’t appear that you are making a fool of yourself, it also comes with the fear of putting that damn foot in your mouth. I believe that I am quite self-aware, but have always had a hard time comprehending certain things as to other things. I see my friend as starting to become an expert for the fact that she collects every bl-book published out there. She will eventually read the books that she collects, but even now I find her very cool for that aspect. That is an otaku in perspective. I recall reading the Genshiken book, and knowing that an otaku is a collector.. and certainly that. I still see myself riding that wave of trend. Oh there are moments I make purchases… that I would look back and wonder why. But so far it has been only one thing.. those Chopper/DragonBall Keycahins..

I believe I am an fan with a pride toward liking what I like. But aggression is when you have evidence, and a passion to drive you? It is somewhat similar to the concept of extrovert and introvert. Such is a superficial comparison, as there are too many people to get to know to make sure you are one either an introvert or an extrovert. I like to be recognized for what I do, but I don’t like to go out of my way to label myself as such. I Even on my facebook page, I always mention the concept of trying to cope with trials of life.

But as for being an expert, I wonder if at this time being, I am a sponge – trying to gain all the information that is out there, and then spreading it to over people? It is an occupational hazard though, and if the goal of mine is to become an expert, I believe that there are still many years to go. As a enthusiast I am pretty comfortable with that fact. Podcasts are interesting though, and would definitely means that you can make a name in the anibloggingsphere. I am actually pretty happy that I was asked to do one. I don’t want to drag the ship down on that one tho. So if I get the chance though.. it is an opportunity I would like to take. For opportunity is chance.

I can’t believe this is all my musings and thinking about what exactly is public speaking, and I can only remember to back when i was a president of an honor society. I tried to be seen as dependable and encouraging, and so I was always faced with moments of being seen as mouthpiece. But is is something that I am willing to do. I am blaming in the fact that I believe that I am a mixture of girl next door, with feral and whiny quality. Recently I read this post, and was kinda pleased that I got included in the line up, so in essence I will be trying to make myself a bit more in the forefront of things. As things get older, and times will change, one must Carpe Diem or it would be a situation of Que Sera Sera.

Ahh.. the muse of self-identification?

Okay after a very long Twitter, then Skype conversation with Moritheil, I am left with questions of who are you in a perspective/nutshell? I haven’t been asked this question in a very long time. So I was hesitant to answer, and was  more comfortable in using they, he or she said. I believe this is second or third person speech, grammatically speaking.  Moritheil commented that this wasn’t a healthy thing to be faced with. So with a history of failed visits to the therapist, that I quit two years ago. The question that was never really answer.. is how to change? It is not going to be changes in an instance, and would either happen with age, or maybe not at all.. but who am I?

If you asked other people, they would say a hyper enthusiastic, energetic person. My last college roommate referred to me as a Chipmunk on crack. A bouncy personality, with an unspoken desire to be accepted in spite of faults. If I don’t change, then I would imagine myself being old and by myself years from now.

I’ll probably use some examples, but I believe you see yourself in different situations, scenario – where you don’t expect much people to ask that much of you, but then the matter is to conduct yourself with diligence, and professionalism. You have a different mindset or appearance about some things, but are unwilling to talk about it, in fear of one you be a know it all, or two.. wrong type of people to speak with. You desire to have the world, but things will happen, and you forgot it.

These are some of the issues I face, and continue to question, but now the question is who am I, makes me wonder about a lot things. I kinda wish that I can express myself a bit better, online as I am to when I see some people face to face. So like a broken mirror, I do I see shards of myself. I am trying to be a practical and realistic person with an awareness that things are not going to be the same for some aspects will inevitably change. I don’t want to be a bitter person, faced with dislike of the poverty that will either crush my family or crush self. I must be able to obtain a sense of focus for what I like and dislike. To express it is to show an opinion/intelligence. I want to be able to make smart decision, that won’t let me down. I want to learn things, to the point of where my mind can handle it. I want to be able to move independent of the self. I want to be able to take opportunities to grow, even though I am having major self-worry. Jump first, and ask questions later? Or be a doubting person?

Now, if I don’t sleep, then it would be a bad aspect for  my health, no matter how often I think the worst of sleeping. Tis nearly 4:30ama again, and once again, a sleeplness night. And that was a tangent thinking.

Princess Waltz Impressions- Eroge Game with Five Princesses and Two Princes.

Princess Waltz is definitely an eroge game, that doesn’t really need to have the sex scenes for the plot line, but because the male lead has to raise affinity with the princesses for a reason, there are seven sex scenes. The sex scenes are okay. Some of them are kinda stereotypical others were all right. Still this game has less ecchi scenes than Yin-Yang X-change Alternative or perhaps Figures of Happiness, thus proving my opinion that this game does not need sex to progress!

This review will have some minor spoilers, so if you did not finish the game yet, if you want to be spoiled then up to you.

Getting thru this game once was no problem on my part, but to get to the other ending, thus unlocking the images, and scenes… that’s where it gets tedious. I am pretty impatient, and would rather read an erotica novel, than having to sit thru parts like this, so I was skipping a lot..>_<

Still in Princess Waltz, there are some interesting details, like the card system to battle the enemies.  I didn’t really understand the concept of the point system, but knew that if I had to go with getting the initiative, match a higher number like that card game I declare War. After three endings, I finally figure out how to level my characters…so let’s just say I didn’t really want to master this card game system as much as I did for other games I played in the past. Another eroge game I saw with a similar feature was Lightning Warrior Raidy. I believe the eroge games are trying the angle for being more of a strategy aspect, rather than straight thru text reading. It seems kinda interesting, but not really useful, after three times playing thru the same scene after scene.

As Arate, you get to sleep with six girls. Yes even Chris is a girl, but there’s a back story on why she is the prince. I am not talking about Iris. I’ll never finish this post  on time if I do! Chris is also Arate’s number one, so the other girls, are all like follower-upers.. Not such a good concept for the one true pairing fan in me. Still you get thru their sex scenes so early in the game, that by the time, to replay for the other princesses. I was already not thrilled already. Also even though Arata is a virgin at the beginning of the game, they made Arata like in other eroge games  – where he became a sex god after a while, and all girls should salivate and drop like flies around him. That seemingly made him to be quite superficial… as a computer character probably is, it was what made the back story of the game interesting to play thru once or twice.

So far of all the guy characters I like in eroge games.. the one I like the most is Touya in Yin Yang, as being a realistic romantic character. I might have forgotten to mention it in the other post, since I was blushing at that time.. but reading the part about Touya as an ending felt like reading an erotic novel to me. That I don’t mind at all. >_<

Back to Princess Waltz tho…

Chris- I mention that she had the earliest sex scenes, because something does happen to her. I felt that Arata had the best lines for her. I actually was tearing up a bit, as I heard what Arata vowed. Still her determination to become the prince made the relationship really strange. In terms of ero, there is actually two ecchi scenes. In Arata’s bedroom, and at school. As the ending of the game finally came about, it seems as though Chris went back to be coming more Prince like, so I was like.. >_< Her sex scenes and some of the other princesses had a great deal of semen activity, and I am not sure if this is like that in real life, but I was like.. ugh.. they Marty Stu him to being  a sex champion, taking everyone’s virginity.

Angela - She’s a headstrong princess… When I first saw her in the game, I though that there might be some lesbian scenes. I looked at her and thought wow she’s so confident that it seems like she’ll get a very neat scene.. Arata and Angela had sex in the hotel.. and it was all right. Compared to the other princesses though, she is the most assured and realistic of what she wants, and is not such a heel in her actions like the other princesses.

This was one line I thought was kinda interesting from her.. “You’re trying to take away my chastity, so please don’t give me a wimpy line like that.”

Suzushiro- Now she was a surprise. She is the childhood friend of Chris, and is in love with her. She is also like Angela with the implied lesbian scenario that I though. Her personality is very much like a closeted maiden, but upon closer examination. There is a complete different realization. She had one of the most varied position in the ecchi department, and they had sex in the bedroom. Still there is maiden tendencies.

Oh and some edit mishaps. I was playing thru Suzushio’s ending, and got to this line ” She quickly presses her knees together and leans on my to hide herself.” Notice the blank there.. what is that? His thighs?

Lun Lun or Liliana- I never expected her to be that much of a pairing with Arata. They did kiss and all, but I always thought she had that fan girl mentality. But she’s the type of character that you can never know by an open book. She has that innocent look about her, but I felt very annoyed by her in the ero aspect. She was the type that would give and give, and never really take. They had sex in his bed room.  She did have one of the best fighting scenes ever, with some of the most varied attack styles.

Liesel- Okay the princess who was considered to be a back stabber at the beginning. I didn’t like her much, for the surprise attack, but when she was defeated. It was a pretty strong scene. She has a low self-esteem and was a strategist.  Still she had an interesting  ecchi scene. Her breasts are considered bigger than Angela’s. Arata and Liesel had sex in the bathroom.

Shizuka- What to say about her, she is a princess.. and she’s also Arata’s adopted older sister, a model housewife. Her identity as a princess is only revealed in one ending, and that is the first image on top, while the others endings has it where she is referred to as the Beast Princess, and her identity is never revealed. Incest issues much? Arata and Shizuka had sex in her bedroom. She has an obvious rivalry with Angela, and if there is a fnadom for this game, I would imagine Angela x Shizuka pairing. I wouldn’t be too surprised if there were any yuri dojinshis for her.

As for ages of the princesses, Arata and Chris. I can only imagine that, Angela, Liliana and Shizuka are considered older than Arata. Liesel and Chris are the same age as Arata. Suzushiro might be a year younger or not. Can’t really remember now. I took about a month playing this game,with a two week break in between of this game.

Music for many parts, sounds like 90’s bedtime music. Lots of those really soft jazz glass/bells sounds for the sex scenes. It got old pretty fast, and I was at some points wanting to mute the sound button..

One more con about this game, and probably for other eroge games, is how often the scene does not match the text, they mention finger touching where, and should make that illustration. The fact that they only showed the girl’s reaction makes the scene kinda dull.

So my final impression of this game, was that this is a dramatic game with a few LOL moments with some of the supporting characters namely the Dragon and whale, but the fact that it was so repetitious, with only one ending to go for…  it made the game iffy and not really re playable in the long run. The second picture that I got up there, after that first picture is technically how the game should look when you get all the endings. Second chapter indicates that the bad ending is technically over.

My review, and playing of this game is several years behind, and another more technical review of this game, should be this one at Eroge Review.

Oh and for those who do not know what this game is, in spite of my ranting and looong review on it.. check out the youtube opening.

Ristorante Paradiso – Low Self-Esteem picker upper

My mood probably picks up as night time draws near. I don’t believe I am going to be blogging much about this series, but this is among my anime to watch this season. A slice of life anime without any frills or grills, as Random Curiosity points out. There always seem to be a message in slice of animes, that makes me like them so. A point made in Episode 3 made me think of my own life.

Nicolette said that she is jealous of other people’s lives, at the fullness of other people’s lives. That is a common reaction for people who has a low self-confident for their lives. and this is what I worry about a lot. It is a human sin to be envious. But if it’s human nature, it will happen irregardless.

Still watching episode 3 reminds me of what it is, and how often the truth behind a smiling face can be oh so different. Wonder how will this anime turn out.

Anyhow.. life is going to be going on, and I am always searching the correct answer on how to become more confident on life. Still working on it, but I know if I escape by watching some anime, then I can probably see what would happen. Then try to focus my life on improving in that angle.

Sunday…

I should not feel the way that I do… but I do.. I hate Sundays. I always find Sundays to be a wasted day, and with the heat we have this weekend. No relief.

What to write, this is one of the worst things that happen to me as a blogger/writer. Usually writing indicates productivity, but I can’t seem to write anything that is productive, other than type out these frustrating words of ranting. I have gathered information, but there is no spark to write.. other than get weighted down with thoughts of other things. Such as reviews…or trying to play catch up with either anime or doramas.Facebook and other things are not helping one darn bit either. Also trying to figure out which to use Flickr or Picasa.

Everything is tied down to money, and my spending of it. Sure if I was more frugal, don’t have to feel more and more worried about it. I just hope I won’t be depressed as I go to Japan. I can’t even relax for a vacation.

Either way… tomorrow should be better.. and did I mention I dislike Sundays?

Overview of Japanese Bookstores in New York City Feature Announcement

All right… I live in one of the most renown cities in the world. Well everyone should know it.. New York City. Now what makes this a great place for Japanese lovers? Other than the abundance of the Japanese culture things, like supermarkets, restaurants, clothing and department stores, there are the bookstores. I am going to be mentioning the three Japanese bookstores I frequent, and most of these places have branches in Japan as well. Those stores are what the tags indicate.

So if you are a book lover, knowing about these places do make time pass when you are in New York City. I have been thinking about this writing feature for months, and recently because of the spring weather decided to go out and take updated pictures of the bookstores themselves. I figure that as a frequent customer, I can mention what products they offer, and probably any of my tips for these stores. I do know that I can probably do this in Yelp.com, but since there are plenty of smaller reviews there, can do a bit of a cohesive review here.

So this is an announcement for a small feature of about three posts, with pictures, and what not. I googled these bookstores for a little bit and couldn’t seem to find much blog or web page activity other than Yelp to introduce much about these stores.

Impressions of Saki: Episode 3

So this episode began the conflicts.. and rivalry feelings occur between Nodoka who I though felt jealous for Saki’s + – ability. Not fun for Saki to hold out against Nodoka who wants to win with all her might.

Give me back those scenes of the players playing those mah jong games. That is my reason for watching this anime, just to watch the technical fantastical mah-jong hands.

I can’t say that I am addicted to this game, but following the trends of seeing a lot of the older generation Asians play this games, makes me really want to play it, but can’t so I follow from afar, just as I do with Go.

I was kinda annoyed that the reporter pointed out her big boobs. Then what type of anime is this, shoujo? Does this mean that in Japan, the standard is for any games manga or anime, that the target audience is for guys?

Still the sempai has entered their mah jong club into competitions, so let’s see more of those goddess battles, and with the characters winning and losing, eventually I guess this anime would bring about the message of the fact that the characters must go on, even if other enemies will be stronger than them. Next episode is featuring the cosplay situation.. >_<

Impressions of Arifureta Kiseki

Translated in English as Unsurprising Miracle. Arifureta Kiseki is a slice of life family Winter 2009 Dorama. Of all of the doramas that I watched during the Winter, I focused on this series much more than Love Shuffle which I marathon through or Triangle that I gave up after three episodes.  I certainly didn’t expect to like this dorama the way I did.

But I did, and I am impressed of this dorama. This is a dorama of message and hope. The story begins with two people saving a third person. Then these two people met again, and a romantic relationship occurs, one that is pretty mature and cautious. Kana and Shota are the only child of two three generation families. Conflict occrrs as it comes out that Kana cannot have children, so it brought to my mind, the declining birthrate in Japan, where the old outnumbers the young. While both their family tries to cope, it was a time of watching the melding of two familes.

Their grandparents, and parents make wonderful supporting characters. My favorite parts were the different interactions between the two family. From the war surviving grandparents, and Shota’s grandfather did get long winded as always. It was an interesting mix to see the lives of the parent. Kana’s parents do have a loveless and companion marriage as did Shota’s divorced parents. It was startling to see the father’s cross dress.

Still Nakama Yukie is not among my top favorite actress to watch, but she was good in this drama. I liked Kase Ryo’s acting slightly more. The last time I saw him, or heard his voice was with Sky Crawlers. So seeing him act certain placed a face with the voice.

This is a dorama that also used Enya’s music from her last Christmas album, Dreams Are More Precious. So prior to Winter Dorama season, I was looking forward to listening to this song. There use to be a nice video on Youtube several months back debuting Enya singing the song. But it must have got taken down.

While there are some parts that would probably bore people, definitely check this dorama out that is probably targeted for the older crowd. If you want to see a ordinary dorama that is filled with character development and ordinary realizations. Boss is airing in the same slot as this dorama, so that is definitely on my list of Spring 2009 dorama to watch.